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"Marriage & Family" Archives:
2009
September
- Play Time! (Round 2)
by Brandon Jubar
In this crazy, hectic world of ours, we often forget to stop and play. For those of us with children, however, playing can be extremely constructive -- and an important part of a child's growth and development. In "Round 1" of this article, we discussed the ways in which play are a completely natural and beneficial part of a child's development. We then looked at specific factors relating to children aged 6 to 18 months. Here in "Round 2", we'll look at symbolic play and the developmental differences in 4 and 5 year olds. Read more...
August
- Play Time!
by Brandon Jubar
In this crazy, hectic world of ours, we often forget to stop and play. For those of us with children, however, playing can be extremely constructive -- and an important part of a child's growth and development. Read more...
July
- Teaching Morals: Part V
by Brandon Jubar
Teaching teenagers about morality takes almost constant effort. Part I of this series discussed teaching our teens to think critically and make good, moral choices that conform to the teachings of the Church -- which are the teachings of Christ. Part II explored the idea that it's not enough to simply talk about the Gospel -- we must teach our teens to live it by addressing issues that they are facing today. Part III looked at the need to make sure that we're not undermining the lessons we're sharing by being hypocrites. And Part IV focused on the need for self-imposed censorship due to the fact that the images we see and the sounds that we hear can etch themselves into our memories and come back to us unbidden.
In order for the first four steps be successful, it is vital that we recognized that prayer and the sacraments are essential for living a moral, Christian life. Read more...
June
- Teaching Morals: Part IV
"Teach Self-Imposed Censorship"
by Brandon Jubar
Teaching teenagers about morality takes almost constant effort. Part I of this series discussed teaching our teens to think critically and make good, moral choices that conform to the teachings of the Church -- which are the teachings of Christ. Part II explored the idea that it's not enough to simply talk about the Gospel -- we must teach our teens to live it by addressing issues that they are facing today. Part III looked at the need to make sure that we're not undermining the lessons we're sharing by being hypocrites.
In order for us to act in a way that is consistent with the morals we are trying to convey, we must censor our own media consumption to a certain degree. Such self-imposed censorship is also something that we should be teaching to our teens. Read more...
May
- Teaching Morals: Part III
"Make Your Words and Actions Consistent"
by Brandon Jubar
Teaching teenagers about morality takes almost constant effort. As we discussed in Part I of this series, the goal is to teach our teens to think critically and make good, moral choices that conform to the teachings of the Church -- which are the teachings of Christ.
In Part II, we explored the idea that it's not enough to simply talk about the Gospel -- we must teach our teens to live it by addressing issues that they are facing today. If we, as parents, present our teens with issues such as premarital sex, illegal drugs, or violence in small, manageable doses, we stand a much better chance of teaching them to face these things on their own and make good choices.
One thing we must keep in mind is that our teens are watching us. Even though it often seems like they're not paying attention, I guarantee that they most certainly are. With that in mind, we need to make sure that we're not undermining the lessons we're sharing by being hypocrites. Read more...
April
- Teaching Morals: Part II
"Engage the Enemy Head-On"
by Brandon Jubar
Teaching teenagers about morality is no simple task. As we discussed in Part I of this series, when parents share the teachings of the Church with their children, they should not candy-coat the truth. The goal is not to make morality conform to a teen's way of thinking. The goal is to teach our teens to think critically and make good, moral choices that conform to the teachings of the Church -- which are the teachings of Christ.
But preaching the Gospel in all its honesty and power is only the first step. We must then move on to its practical application to everyday life. It's not enough to simply talk about the Gospel -- we must teach our teens to live it. Read more...
March
- Teaching Morals (Part 1)
"Let Them Hear the Truth"
by Brandon Jubar
Having spent over twenty years involved in youth ministry, I've attempted to answer countless questions from parents, on a wide range of subjects. I’d love to be able to share all of those questions and answers with you, but rather than try to sort through all of the specific topics, perhaps it’s best to focus on one underlying theme. For regardless of whether the issue is premarital sex, illegal drugs, or violence, it all comes down to one thing: how to best teach teenagers about morality. Read more...
February
- Preach What You Practice
by Brandon Jubar
I'm sure we've all heard the age-old adage: "Practice what you preach!" In fact, we've all probably used it at least once or twice. And why wouldn't we? It makes perfect sense. What it boils down to is "don't be a hypocrite". (It comes to mind when the obese doctor wheezes his way into the examination room and tells you that you need to lose weight!)
Unfortunately, most people read too much into the old adage. They seem to infer, either consciously or otherwise, that "practicing" is not only extremely important, it is actually
all that is needed. Thus it is that I propose we add a second sentence to the old adage:
"Preach what you practice." Read more...
2008
November
- Creating Traditions -- Creating Memories
by Brandon Jubar
It's the Holiday Season. The time of year that tends to carry with it more memories than any other. It doesn't matter whether the time remembered was one of abundance or need, chances are good that the memories are cherished -- and hold profound meaning for us. Knowing this, we should be all the more aware of the fact that the things we do today are the memories -- and traditions -- of years to come. Read more...
October
September
- Lessons from My Daughter
by Tom Gilbert
"Don't you believe me, Daddy? Huh, don't you?"
My daughter bats those beautiful brown eyes as she gives me the look -- the one that melts a thousand resolves. She is hugging tight her stuffed Rudolph. Yes, he of the "red-nosed" fame.
All of four years, she is filled with the wonder and awe that only young children seem to possess. Part of me senses that she is developing the one trait all fathers eventually discover. The one that makes it so easy for them to wrap us around their little fingers. At this moment, it doesn't matter. At this moment, I'd give her the world if she asked. Read more...
August
- 4 Guidelines for a Stronger Marriage
by Brandon Jubar
The world can be a difficult place to live as a Christian today. It seems as though the black-and-white issues of yesterday have quickly become shades of gray. Without a solid foundation at home, people can easily get sucked into the negativity and self-centeredness that is all too common in our society. A marriage should provide that foundation, but many marriages are anything but solid. A good, solid marriage requires work, focus, and thoughtful choices. If you work to improve your marriage by focusing on the guidelines below, and then choose to act according to them, you'll have that solid foundation and a much stronger marriage. Read more...
June
- The Family -- An Agent for Social Changeby Rod Hetherton
Nyaaank eew. Peeeeas. Yuuuuv eew. No, this isn't secret code or a new super hero language. What it could be, though, is an old but revolutionary idea on how to change the world. It is a simple, down-home recipe for making a difference.
Actually, those are three words from my fourteen-month-old's limited vocabulary -- thank you, please, and love you. Manners and a little love make a difference. So do responsibility, honesty, hard work, integrity, and much more. Okay, okay, I never said it was an easy recipe, I said simple. There is a difference. Read more...
May
- Blessed Are the Peacemakers
by Brandon Jubar
Jesus told us "blessed are the peacemakers", and it is true in all aspects of our lives. This verse from the beatitudes (Matthew 5:9) is not just applicable to world leaders and other people in positions of power. In truth, it may be more important on a much smaller scale. Blessed are the peacemakers within our families! Read more...
April
- Cursed to be Catholic
by Nick Popadich
My parents ruined my life. Now I know there may be a lot of people who say that they feel the same way... but mine really did. They raised me Catholic. I am forever cursed with a conscience that never lets me just play the part of a mere mortal. I am forever obligated to send my kids to a Catholic school (no kids yet, so I still have some money). For the rest of my days, I will be working Bingos, eating at Fish Fries, walking the Stations and saying the Rosary. I have often thought my life would be a lot easier if I wasn't Catholic, but then again, maybe there are ways in which this curse can be a blessing. Read more...
March
- The Importance of Conversation
by Brandon Jubar
I heard a disturbing statistic the other day. It said that the average American father spends seven minutes a week in meaningful conversation with his kids. Wow. That floored me -- and it got me thinking. How much do I talk to my family? The more I thought about it, the more I believed it's a question worth asking. Read more...
February
January
- Humble Beginnings
by Brandon Jubar
Our experiences as children usually last a lifetime. From about 6 months until 6 years of age, the human brain experiences its greatest growth. During that time, children are extremely impressionable and will learn ways of living and acting that can stay with them into adulthood. This period of our lives is commonly known as the "formative years", and it is a time when parents can have a tremendous effect on what their children will be like in the decades to come. Read more...
2007
December
- Hard Headed Children
by Angie Ledbetter
Ho-Ho-Home for the Holidays
The holidays are fast approaching and the kids will be home from school for longer periods. Close quarters between siblings often bring an increase in squabbling and tattling. And larger portions of disobedience aren't uncommon as our lives are invaded by the over-excitement that comes with Christmas commercialism, parties, hectic schedules, and overdoses of sugary sweet goodies. Read more...
November
- A Spoonful of Sympathy
by Aaron Jubar
I remember a time, before I was a parent, when my wife walked in the door with a pained look on her face. I asked her what was wrong and she proceeded to tell me that her stomach was bothering her and that she was experiencing muscle aches along with some headaches. The first thought that popped into my head was, "don't get near me, I don't want to get sick!" After a moment I realized that if I were in her position, I'd want her to take care of me, even if it meant she might be exposed to my illness. A little bit of sympathy can go a long way. Read more...
October
- The End of an Era
by Brandon Jubar
It had been a few years since the end of summer had really meant anything other than shorter days and cooler temperatures. But then one year it was different. One morning in particular, at the end of the summer of 2002, brought with it the beginning of a new era.
It was the morning we took our eldest son to kindergarten. Read more...
September
- Homes Are Safe Havens
by Brandon Jubar
"Duh. What do you think?"
"How long have you lived here?"
"I told you once. Weren't you listening?"
"Just shut up."
A roll of the eyes. An exasperated exhalation of breath. A heavy sigh and a shake of the head. These phrases and non-verbal communiqués, and many more like them, are all too common in our households today. Parents complain about how disrespectful kids are these days, and then turn around and treat their spouses worse than they treat their enemies.
Why is it that the people we love the most, are the people we treat the worst? Read more...
August
- Parents and the Career Conundrum
by Aaron Jubar
For most of us, the first few years after college were a rude awakening. The combination of a slowing economy along with a shrinking job market (in most fields) can truly 'burst the bubble' of any recent graduate. After the completely unoriginal "We're going to take the world by storm" speech at the commencement, most college grads find themselves asking,
"Alright, 5-and-a-half years of college -- now what?!" Read more...
June
- The Worst Lesson
by Brandon Jubar
Children are incredible! As I watch my two boys learn and grow, I am constantly amazed at how quickly they catch on to things -- how quickly they learn and adapt. Unfortunately, they often learn things from me that I'd rather they not remember. They learn things that do not come "naturally" to them, and they pick-up these things with unfortunate speed.
There is one thing in particular that I see so many children learning from so many adults, and it makes me lower my head in shame. For even today, I am teaching my children the worst lesson of all... Read more...
- Not In His Place
(A Reflection On My Father)
by Donald A. Michael
I received a call from my mother that my father was in the hospital due to a serious fall he encountered on the basement steps. My wife and children went with me to visit my mom for the weekend. We learned that my dad was trying to do more than he could handle. He tried to carry a table up the steps and lost his footing, only to come into intimate contact with a concrete floor -- followed by the pain of multiple fractures of his ribs. Read more...
March
- Children in Church: Battling Embarrassment
by Brandon Jubar
"Sit down."
"Leave your brother alone."
"Get off the floor."
"Shhhhhh. Not so loud."
These are the words that so many parents recite. Like the Nicene Creed and the Lord's Prayer, my wife and I repeat them every week at Mass. Yet unlike the Creed and other prayers, these are said with conviction and emotion. We mean these words with every ounce of our being, and they often become the very focus of the Mass for us. Read more...
February
- Talking to Your Children (Part VI)
Final Review & Wrap-Up
by Brandon Jubar
As we've discussed in this series of articles, raising children can be an overwhelming task and the sheer volume of information available to help parents is daunting in itself. There is so much information available that many parents find themselves simply giving up on ever learning what the "experts" have to say, which is why this series of short articles was written and published.
One of the keys to effective parenting -- communication -- can be improved using a few simple, easy-to-remember methods, which were explained in the first five articles. So in this sixth and final installment, let's take a few minutes to recap what's been discussed. Read more...
January
- Talking to Your Children (Part V)
How to Use "Reflection" for Better Communication
by Brandon Jubar
Raising children can be an overwhelming task and the sheer volume of information available to help parents is daunting in itself. There are countless books, DVDs, CDs, television shows, web sites, and face-to-face training classes to help moms and dads improve their parenting skills. In fact, there is so much information available that many parents find themselves simply giving up on ever learning what the "experts" have to say.
If you are one of those parents suffering from information overload, you're in luck because one of the keys to effective parenting -- communication -- can be improved using a few simple, easy-to-remember methods. In Part 5 of this series, we'll look at a technique that can be used with children of all ages (and feel free to use it when communicating with adults as well). Read more...
2006
December
- Talking to Your Children (Part IV)
How to Use "I-messages" to Build Understanding
by Brandon Jubar
Raising children can be an overwhelming task and the sheer volume of information available to help parents is daunting in itself. There are countless books, DVDs, CDs, television shows, web sites, and face-to-face training classes to help moms and dads improve their parenting skills. In fact, there is so much information available that many parents find themselves simply giving up on ever learning what the "experts" have to say.
If you are one of those parents suffering from information overload, you're in luck because one of the keys to effective parenting -- communication -- can be improved using a few simple, easy-to-remember methods. In Part 4 of this series, we'll look at a technique that can be used with children of all ages (and feel free to use it when communicating with adults as well). Read more...
November
- Talking to Your Children (Part III)
How to Use Humor to Relieve Stressful Situations
by Brandon Jubar
Raising children can be an overwhelming task and the sheer volume of information available to help parents is daunting in itself. There are countless books, DVDs, CDs, television shows, web sites, and face-to-face training classes to help moms and dads improve their parenting skills. In fact, there is so much information available that many parents find themselves simply giving up on ever learning what the "experts" have to say.
If you are one of those parents suffering from information overload, you're in luck because one of the keys to effective parenting -- communication -- can be improved using a few simple, easy-to-remember methods. In Part 3 of this series, we'll look at a technique that can improve your relationship with your child and helps save your sanity at the same time. Read more...
September
- Talking to Your Children (Part II)
How to Address Problems and Avoid Blaming
by Brandon Jubar
Raising children can be an overwhelming task and the sheer volume of information available to help parents is daunting in itself. There are countless books, DVDs, CDs, television shows, web sites, and face-to-face training classes to help moms and dads improve their parenting skills. In fact, there is so much information available that many parents find themselves simply giving up on ever learning what the "experts" have to say.
If you are one of those parents suffering from information overload, you're in luck because one of the keys to effective parenting -- communication -- can be improved using a few simple, easy-to-remember methods. In Part 2 of this series, we'll look at a technique that helps clearly identify something that needs to be corrected without getting bogged down in blaming, attacking or condemning your child. Read more...
- Talking to Your Children (Part I)
by Brandon Jubar
Raising children can be an overwhelming task and the sheer volume of information available to help parents is daunting in itself. There are countless books, DVDs, CDs, television shows, web sites, and face-to-face training classes to help moms and dads improve their parenting skills. In fact, there is so much information available that many parents find themselves simply giving up on ever learning what the "experts" have to say.
If you are one of those parents suffering from information overload, you're in luck because one of the keys to effective parenting -- communication -- can be improved using a few simple, easy-to-remember methods. In Part 1 of this series, we'll cover two of the most basic methods, which are very similar in that their goal is to get your child to open up. Read more...
August
- Talking to Your Kids About Being Catholic
by Brandon Jubar
The Most Difficult Questions
I don't care what anyone says, children ask the toughest questions. Debating issues with your Protestant friend, the extremist Catholic, or the Jehova's Witness who knocks on your door may be mentally stimulating (and at times frustrating), but nothing compares to the questions of your child. And not necessarily because of the intellectual caliber of the questions, but because of the sincere trust of the one who is asking. When your kids ask about our Catholic faith, you suddenly find yourself in the position to truly change someone's life. Read more...
June
- Mean Old Parents!
Being All You Can Be for Your Kids
by Angie Ledbetter
Parenting can be a difficult and seemingly thankless task. But just as the Father is patient with us, we must be patient with our children. After all, it is their "job" to explore the world. It is our job to give them a map. Read more...
- New Beginnings
by Rod Hetherton
December 19, 2000 was the first day of the rest of my life. At least that is what my buddy, Jeff, kept telling me it would be. That particular Tuesday was the day my first child, Andrew Nicholas, was born. My friend was right, not a day in my life has been the same since. Thank goodness. Read more...
May
- Make Time to Talk
by Brandon Jubar
At least a million jokes have been made about the inability of men and women to communicate effectively. Comedians get some of there best material from this constant struggle to understand one another. But all kidding aside, a lack of communication in a relationship -- especially in a marriage -- can lead to nothing but trouble. Most couples spent a great deal of time just talking when they first got together. Many couples continue strong communication once they are married. Yet even the best communicators have trouble merely finding the time to talk once children come along! Read more...
April
- Boys Will Be Boys
by Brandon
Jubar
I'm sure it's a fairly common scenario. The little boy is running around, getting into things, and just being plain mischievous. The parents try to calm him down, but to no avail. After yet another frustrated sigh from mom, grandma and grandpa say, "Don't get so upset, dear. He's really not that bad. After all, boys will be boys!" Read more...
2005
March
- BOOK REVIEW: In the Beginning... There Were No Diapers
by Brandon Jubar
Adjectives and Anxieties
Think of an adjective and it can probably be used to describe parenting. Joyous? Frustrating? Fulfilling? Stressful? Exhilarating? Exhausting? Syndicated columnist and popular Catholic writer Tim Bete covers them all, serving them up with a liberal dose of hilarity that will have you laughing out loud!
Whether you're a parent or not, In the Beginning... There Were No Diapers: Laughing and Learning in the First Years of Fatherhood will take you on a merry adventure into the world of those wild beasts known as "children". Through sleepless nights and days filled with anxieties (such as the Was-that-really-my-child-that-just-shouted-this-is-boring-right-in-the-middle-of-the-sermon anxiety), Bete is your deadpan guide on this wonderful journey. With tongue firmly in cheek, he enlightens the reader on a great many subjects, from potty training to flying first class with a five-year-old. Before I knew it, I could not only explain the meaning of "botta bing, botta boom" but also share a great number of ways to use it effectively. Read more...
2002
November
- Commitment is a Good Thing
by Angie Ledbetter
The "C" Word
There are tons of jokes that float around about guys and their fear of the "C" word, and there are lots of folks who can't or won't make a commitment of any kind. They are afraid of the responsibility and loss of personal freedom they picture when giving an oath/pledge/obligation to someone or something. Maybe it's a fear of failure too. What we don't see as often are those people who live out their commitments. It's time they got a little recognition and good press. Read more...
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