The Family -- An Agent for Social Change

Nyaaank eew. Peeeeas. Yuuuuv eew. No, this isn't secret code or a new super hero language. What it could be, though, is an old but revolutionary idea on how to change the world. It is a simple, down-home recipe for making a difference.

Actually, those are three words from my fourteen-month-old's limited vocabulary -- thank you, please, and love you. Manners and a little love make a difference. So do responsibility, honesty, hard work, integrity, and much more. Okay, okay, I never said it was an easy recipe, I said simple. There is a difference.

Manners, Please?

I remember one day, back when I was teaching 5th grade, I noticed that many of my students were saying 'thank you' when I was handing out papers and other materials. I asked, "Why are so many of you finally using manners?"

One 10-year-old girl replied, "Don't you remember yelling at us about it two weeks ago?"

"Oh, yeah", I thought. I had gotten fed up with my class asking for things and receiving things without saying a word, as if it was everyone's duty to give and take from them whenever they needed it. So I had gone into a tirade about manners. In fact, I had even started to feel a bit old because I found myself using the "when I was a kid" line. But it was true! When I was at that age, I never would have treated an authority figure with anything but respect.

It Starts Young

Maybe being a teacher and a school administrator has made this a sore spot with me, but I am tired of hearing how "the teacher" or "the school" didn't make some kid smart and respectful. My immediate reaction is always, "Where was the parent the first five years of that child's life?" You know -- those 5 years before they even stepped into a school?

That's 260 weeks or 1,820 days of existence. Those are five important years where personality, attitude, ideals, and expectations are formed and molded. As parents, we are the main inspiration in shaping our children's lives. Not the school. Not the church. Not the government. And it is not an easy task. But even with only a few years on my parental resume, I have learned just how much hard work it truly is.

Taking responsibility with one's family plays a dual role. While we work hard as parents, our children learn valuable life lessons beyond merely manners, expectations, right and wrong, and kindness. When they see how hard we work at being good parents, and they realize how consistent we are, they see the importance and internalize these lessons even more.

It is the "practice what you preach" philosophy. Children are great at picking out frauds and seeing the truth. So when they see you working hard at your own life, it is a lesson they are more likely to take to heart.

Be Christ, Teach the Lesson

This is exactly what the great commissioning was about. Jesus teaches us valuable lessons and then sends us out so that we can change the world... by changing those around us.

Think about the Gospel story of Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman at Jacob's well. Not only was he teaching valuable lessons about redemption and finding our Lord, he was also teaching kindness and respect. By conversing with the Samaritan woman, Jesus was showing us that life everlasting is for everyone, no matter your race or gender.

Be Christ for your family. As parents we are powerful influences. We must choose to be instruments of God's abundant love and grace. We can teach valuable lessons. These lessons, though sometimes difficult, are important for our children as well as for us. With a little love, we can teach our children to be positive and gracious little people, who will then go out into the world and do the same for others.

And sometime all it takes is peeeeas, nyaaank eew, and yuuuuv eew for a family to become a significant agent for social change.

Life Applications:

Were manners important in your family as you grew up? How about today?
Can you think of a time where it would have been easier not to teach a valuable lesson to your children? What gave you strength to carry through on the lesson?
This week, can you think of someone to whom you can show a little more respect and kindness?

Copyright 2002-2008 by Rod Hetherton
All rights reserved.