Language of the Heart

by Tom Gilbert

Why is it that so much of our communicating with each other misses the mark? By the end of the day we will have done a lot of talking, but can you honestly reconstruct all those conversations? Did you really get what the people talking to you said? Or was it just so much "blah-blah-blah, yada-yada-yada"? The trouble I often have in a conversation is I spend entirely too much time thinking about what I'm going to say instead of listening to what people are saying to me. I'm up in my head instead of down in my heart.

The Greatest Distance

It's been said the greatest distance one will ever travel is the twelve inches from your head to your heart. Let's face it -- there's enormous truth in that statement. God wants us to communicate with the language of the heart. He is love and that's where love comes from. This language cannot be solely intellectual. It's honest and caring. It's certainly not self-centered. The heart, therefore, is much more than an organ pumping blood through our bodies.

This long journey from our intellect/mind/brain to the center of our soul is a lifetime one. Even when you finally make it there you can get lost again and have to find your way back. The only way to be fluent in the language of the heart is to understand what it is and learn to speak it. As with any language, it takes practice and repetition.

What is the Language of the Heart?

The first step is to getting better at speaking the language of the heart is to turn our attention to God. Jesus tells us that when we look to Him we are seeing the Father. He and the Father are one. Therefore, taking to heart his commandment to love God with our everything -- all our heart, mind, body and strength -- should get our heart tuned to the proper frequency. Then, and only then, can we go to our neighbors and love them properly. It's not love as we define it, but rather as God does.

The language of the heart is not a man-made language. The apostle Paul stated it best:

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." (1 Corinthians 13)

The language of the heart is not only words. This is one of the most significant things that my head has a hard time recognizing. We are all aware that communication is much more than just verbalization. Our looks, our body language and our written words convey and communicate meaning. Many times the meaning received is neither what we thought it was nor what we intended it to be.

A Very Special Form of Communication

There is a special communication that happens when we are truly speaking the language of the heart. It's an intense, honest, humble, respectful and loving tone. It involves our whole being and we can feel it. And at those precious times when I have either heard or spoken this language, I've inevitably had to blink back tears. This language is not man-made, but rather God-given. So it's good to remember that God, through the Holy Spirit, dwells within us. The bible also gives us some indication that this language is more than words:

"We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." (Romans 8:26)

Our prayers to God can be expressed in that special language of the Spirit. For the benefit of others we must know how to speak in words we all understand. If it is spirit-filled it will still be the honest language of the heart. The words we use should lift us up, educate and encourage. Paul goes to great lengths in his first letter to the Corinthians to let us know that speaking in tongues is a gift, but better that we are spirit-filled and saying things that are understandable.

Look, Listen and Love

I know that I have much to learn from God and other believers. Listening with my heart and not my head opens me up to a message that I often miss. As with so much of living our faith the key is to deny my selfish interests and be more interested in others.

This is accomplished by, to use a crass term, shutting up. I need to talk less and listen more. Instead of thinking about what I'm going to say when someone else is talking I need to give my full attention to that other person. God's messengers are all around us. And I'm frequently surprised by what I hear when I truly stop to listen.

Try hearing with your heart. Try speaking from your heart. Learn to embrace this special language. For God is constantly revealing His love to us through this language of the heart.

Life Applications:

What comes to mind now when you read the words "language of the heart?"
Do you find it easier to communicate with your head or with your heart?
How well do you actually listen to others? How can you improve?

Copyright 2003-2009 by Tom Gilbert
All rights reserved.