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BekkaGirl

by Amanda Beattie

It had been a rough afternoon in the chat room. I was in this Christian room with several other teen chatters, having a relatively good time. Without warning, there was a group of people who entered the chat room and began blaspheming and swearing. As a channel operator, it was my job to send them a nice reminder of the "no swearing" rule or the "honor God" rule and remove them from the chat room when they didn't comply. It had happened a lot that day, and I think everyone's nerves were a little frayed.

The Last Straw

It was then that a girl with a screen name of BekkaGirl entered the room. Nobody had seen her before, but we were making small talk and introducing ourselves. She began asking questions about God, and we were answering to the best of our ability; admittedly, we were all still a little wary of her, in case she was also just showing up to make trouble.

One thing led to another, and at the end of the conversation, BekkaGirl apparently heard something that she didn't like. She began to curse at the other chatters. I set her to a status so that she could no longer speak in the channel, unhappy at how things ended up -- she sounded like she might have been receptive at the beginning.

One of our regular chatters typed in, as BekkaGirl was still watching, "Why is it that all unbelievers are so stupid?" Needless to say, BekkaGirl left the channel shortly after.

Damage Control

I was horrified, firstly because that chatter had even said such a thing, and even more so because she said it in BekkaGirl's presence. No matter what BekkaGirl had done, she didn't deserve to be spoken to so harshly. I quickly hammered off a note of warning to that one chatter to guard her words, and brought up a private message to BekkaGirl to apologize.

"Hey," I typed, afraid that she was already angry and hurt by what was said. "I am so, so sorry that she said that. It should not have been said; you didn't deserve that. I'm really sorry."

There was a long pause, and I was sure that BekkaGirl was too mad to reply. Just then, the reply did come back. "What?" she said.

Oops.

The Surprise

"Great," I thought to myself. "Just great. Here I am apologizing, and she didn't see what was said. Now I'm bringing it all up when she doesn't need to hear about it." But I was committed now, and had to follow through. I stumbled around for a response. "Well...what that girl said just before you left...I mean, it was wrong, and if she won't apologize for it, I will. I'm sorry she said that to you."

There was another pause, this one shorter. "Really?" she asked.

I was encouraged that she knew what I was talking about and didn't seem angry. I kept going. "Yes," I answered. "You didn't deserve that."

"Well...thanks," came the baffled reply. "It's okay."

BekkaGirl and I chatted for a good while after that, talking about different things, including Jesus. She still seemed a little dodgy about God, but she spoke respectfully and didn't run off her mouth like she had in the chat room.

After a while, she typed in, "I have to be going now. Maybe I'll see you on-line again."

"It was good meeting you," I said.

"You know," she wrote, just before she left, "You're a lot nicer than most Christians."

I sat, staring at the now empty chat room, stunned. Nearly every Christian I had met had been nice. Did BekkaGirl just have a knack for meeting people who insulted her, or...

Finally it sunk in. There were plenty of nice Christians, but she didn't get to see that side of them. I remembered back to the chat room, and thought about what was said. People debated with her, corrected her, and one outright insulted her. I felt immensely convicted, suddenly understanding why she was so disillusioned with Christians. She was apparently used to being spoken to as if she were stupid, and apparently even expected to be treated harshly. That's why she was so surprised when I asked her forgiveness. Perhaps no Christian had ever done that before.

It's so easy to slip into "witness mode" -- we Christians can often get carried away. We have good intentions, yet our outreach can come off as cold and distant -- even rude sometimes. And all too often, our actions contradict our words. If we preach the love of God but turn around and call people names, who is going to buy it?

It all boils down to one thing: love.

Jesus commanded us to love one another, and we need to live by that commandment every day. You never know when you'll run across someone who, like BekkaGirl, is just looking for a loving word. You, by the grace of God, will be able to give it to her.

Life Applications:

What does it look like to obey Jesus' commandment to love each other?
What could you do to show yourself friendly to a non-Christian?
How can a kind word change a situation like the one with BekkaGirl?

Copyright 2002 by Amanda Beattie
All rights reserved.