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How To Say Good-Bye

by Thomas Hardy

My junior year is coming to a close, leaving me both excited and sad. Excited because I'm almost a senior. But sad because the current seniors are moving on -- and many of them are my friends. So as I've hopped around to various open houses, I've had a chance to think about this question: What's the best way to say good-bye to a friend?

Step 1: Tell Them How Much I Care

I try to be honest about these things. Not a pessimist, but a realist. And realistically, I know that my friends who are graduating this year are about to move on to new adventures. Whether they go to college or work, they will make new friends, follow a new schedule, and maybe even gain a new perspective on life. The bottom line? I may rarely, if ever, see them again.

With that in mind, I truly believe that I shouldn't miss this opportunity to tell my friends how much I care about them. It seems like we spend a lot of time picking on each other and goofing around -- and I think my friends know they mean a lot to me -- but it's still important to say the words.

It's one thing to show I care, but it can mean so much more when I actually verbalize those feelings. Doing so is an inexpensive gift, but to my friend it's priceless!

Step 2: Thank Them For Their Friendship

Two of the nicest words that anyone can hear are "thank you". I shouldn't just tell my friends how much they mean to me. I have to go the next step and sincerely thank them for it.

When I say "thank you" I am not only expressing gratitude, I am strongly affirming the quality of the person as a friend. It's one thing to "appreciate" my friends. It's something more when I am truly "thankful" for having them in my life.

Step 3: Promise Them I'll Remember

And finally, I need to be conscious of the fact that my friends will soon be dealing with a whole new world. The last thing I want to do is add stress to their lives. But when I ask people to promise that they'll stay in touch, I am definitely introducing more stress -- and an element of guilt, too!

The trick is to be a low-maintenance friend. What I mean by this is that I need to make it perfectly clear that I will always be there when my friends return. Regardless of how long we are apart, I will always welcome them home with open arms. In the meantime, if I want to commit that I will write/call/email, then that's fine. But I shouldn't ask my friends to promise too much!

Wrapping It All Up

That's all there is to it -- three basic steps:

• tell them how much I care
• thank them for their friendship
• promise them I'll remember

Though it seems rather simple, don't think for a second that it's easy. If you'd like to try my method of saying farewell, it will take a conscious effort on your part to do it right. But when all is said and done, I think you'll find that it's an excellent way to say good-bye.

Life Applications:

What was the hardest "good-bye" you've experienced? Why was it difficult?
Do you tell your friends how much they mean to you? Why or why not?
What will you do when it's time for you to leave?

Copyright 2003 by Thomas HardyAll rights reserved.

Posted by bjubar on 06/15 at 10:25 PM
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