No Sex Allowed?

by Brandon Jubar

Is sex a bad thing or a good thing? And what is that whole “adultery" thing about? As long as you're not sleeping with a married person, are you OK? What exactly does the Bible say about sex and sexuality anyway? What does it all mean?

One way to understand the commandment against committing adultery is to look at it as a call for us to create healthy relationships. Specifically, if you are called to marriage, you are called to find that special person with whom you'll have kids, raise a family and share the rest of your life. Then, in the context of marriage, sex is a very good thing.

“You shall not commit adultery.” (Exod 20:14)

First of all, it's wrong to assume that this commandment is only referring to cheating on a spouse, having sexual relations with a married person or something along those lines. The key is that we are commanded to refrain from sex outside the sacramental vows of marriage.

"God created man in His own image ... male and female He created them." (Gen 1:27)

Secondly, it's wrong to assume that the fact that someone is married makes everything OK. It's important to remember that God made us in His image, and He made us male and female. Marriage is more than just a legal or civil agreement. A sacrament occurs -- the grace of God, through the Holy Spirit, is physically present -- when a baptized man and woman marry one another in the presence of a priest or deacon, representing the Church. Anything else means that sex between the two people is outside the sacramental vows of marriage.

"This is my commandment: love one another as I love you." (John 15:12)

Finally, it's wrong to assume that a strong relationship can be based upon sex. The fact is that Jesus gave us directions on how to make it work. The top priority must be to love the person with whom you're in relationship. You must genuinely want to put his or her needs ahead of your own. And if you choose to marry that person, then you need to make that commitment for the rest of your life.

The Bible and the Catholic Church teach that sex is a very good thing. However, they also teach us that God created us and our sexuality for a purpose, apart from which we will not find happiness.

Life Applications:

What does society seem to think about sex outside of marriage?
How have your parents talked to you about sex and sexuality? How has it helped?
What are your thoughts on getting married and having children?

Copyright 2004 by Brandon Jubar
All rights reserved.